Watching "Hotel Rwanda"

What a depressing movie. I can't believe that things like this actually happen in the world. Watching it makes me feel helpless and powerless. I wish I had a billion dollars and endless amounts of influence so that I could do something to change things for the people of Darfur in the Sudan.

But what can we really do? We can send over money and food and missionaries, but what does that really accomplish? Does that change the cycles of violence and the political ideologies that lead to the genocide? What can a normal person actually do to help? Praying feels meaningless. Caring feels pointless. The situation feels hopeless.

Cinnamon rolls hold the key to happiness

I try not to be a glutton, but I can't help it. A wise man once said, "All things in moderation." People have believed that for thousands of years. I believe, however, that there once existed some wise Czech that said, "Moderation is for pussies."
When I know cinnamon rolls await me in the morning, I wake up earlier than I need to. It's sad when pre-heating an oven is a high point of my day. As they cook, the smell of cinnamon calls out to me like a harbinger of the delicious taste to come. Frosting them produces anxiety, because I want to eat them as soon as possible, but know I need to frost them first.
As soon as I take a bite of one, the world stops turning. It's as if I'm the only person existing in that moment, just a lone person eating the most delicious thing ever created.
Happiness is not a warm blanket, but a warm cinnamon roll.

Current annoyances

*The fact that I still have 8 more work days until summer break.
*My uber-burn, which was becoming a tan, and is now peeling. I look like a snake shedding its skin.
*That Oreos don't have 0 calories.
*My headache.
*That I still live at home.
*That HE (person unnamed) just won't go away.
*That SHE (person unnamed) never seems to change.
*That my stomach hurts.
*That I know it's the Oreos fault.

Nap time.

Why stop now?

Is it possible to have a friend that you just stop liking? I have a few best friends (my fiance, my sister, and a few other girls) but I have a couple "side" friends that I am starting to just want to break ties with. Is that mean? Maybe we're just growing apart.

You know you're not meant to be friends when:
-Hearing their name annoys you.
-Hearing a particular word that they say a lot annoys you.
-Thinking about socializing with them gives you a mini panic attack.

I want to hear your thoughts. How do I get rid of said friend(s)?

Much obliged.

Haven't written one in a few days.

So, I had the best weekend ever pretty much. In case you're curious:

*The whole purpose of the weekend was to celebrate my 4 year anniversary with my fiance.
1. Friday Ken and I went to see Terminator Salvation. It was pretty good. The special effects were really good! :-] And Christian Bale was a delight as always.
2. Saturday Ken and I went to Deep River Water Park. I got the sunburn of a lifetime. It is seriously the most I've hurt since I broke my leg 10 years ago. I look like I was slathered in barbecue sauce. But luckily today (Tuesday) it's better appearance-wise and in how it feels.
3. Sunday Ken and I watched all of the LOTR extended versions. I was really proud of myself because I stayed awake through all of them except for like 30 minutes worth at the end of Return of the King.
4. Monday we spent time with family.

I wish the weekend wasn't over.

Please keep your complaints to a minimum

So some guy on "My Name is Earl" is complaining that the show got cancelled. First of all, heaven forbid you don't have those extra hundreds of thousands of dollars an episode to keep all your other millions warm. What a tragedy. Second, that show is mediocre at best. The premise is fairly original, but the cast and writing is mediocre. People might wonder why shows like Seinfeld and Friends and Family Guy were/are so successful. One reason: Legitimately ground-breaking comedy. The always changed things up and kept it fresh, and regularly pushed the envelope. "My Name is Earl" is a show which produces a mild smattering of chuckles whereas the aforementioned shows were/are consistently laugh-out-loud funny. Maybe I should be a television exec.

I want, I want, I want

I want to be a writer so bad.  Today, I was reading articles about writing.  Tips, hints, etc.  It seems like hard work, but I do not care in the slightest.  I want to spend my life doing that work.  I want to write stories that people love.  I want to inspire people.  I want to make people laugh.  I want to make people cry.  I want to make them angry.  I want to make them rejoice.  I want to help people out of the dark places in their lives.  I want, I want, I want.  There is nothing I want more.

I am sick of...

• Students who don't want to learn.
• Students who don't care that they're failing classes.
• People who can't take hints.
• People who are so into themselves that they would never get that someone might not like them.
• People who are so damn perky all the time.
• People who say bitchy things to people they should be polite to.
• People who are bitchy.
• People who aren't bitchy enough.
• People without the courage to change how they act towards people.

I am sick of people.

Wow.

She is hands down the rudest person ever.  I'm not going to say who I'm talking about or why, but is so f-ing rude.  

I kind of already knew that but wow.  What she said to me takes the cake.

Why can't people just be polite?  What happened to that?  Why do people think they can just say whatever the hell they want to say to people?

She needs to get her act together.

Happy Anniversary!

As of tomorrow, it has been 4 happy years with my sweetums! It's been a wonderful ride, and I love you with all my heart! Less than 10 months til we're married!!

Shut up.

Call me immature. Call me a child. Call me a more clever name. Call me anything. All I have to say is: Shut up.

You are stupid and petty. All you ever do is make fun of everything and everyone and I am tired of being around such negative people. Too bad I don't have a choice sometimes.

You have a lot of growing up to do. Before you go out on your own and get married and get a real job. You need to mature. Because life will be hard for you if all you do is coast through it bashing everything that you "don't like."

By the way, you can't tell people what they should like. Screw you.

Thanks.

Great shape.

I'm in the best shape of my life. Is it wrong to say that? I feel like a hypocrite writing this blog.

Why, you ask? Why would one feel like a hypocrite for stating their opinion about their physical appearance? Mainly, because I have silently berated a co-worker for months for doing this same thing. For some reason, though, I feel more justified.

I think I feel justified because the silently berated person just talks and talks and talks about how in shape they are and their workout and how fascinating they are and blah blah frickin blah. I'm just sharing it with you, the select few blog subscribers who voluntarily read my thoughts. I'm not shoving it down anyone's throat.

That being said, I look pretty good. Not to be cliche, but I'm thankful that God has given me the motivation to take the healthy step of working out more. Thanks, Big Guy!

I am so frustrated.

How hard is it to pick up on a generally accepted and recognized social cue? Let me put it to you this way...

If a door is closed at your place of employment, and it is usually open, would you not deduce that the person inside has it closed for a reason?

Secondly, if you are brazen enough to open it, and the person inside is reading, would you not further deduce that you have been rebuffed a second time and should immediately turn around and leave?

A normal person might...

Fun summer!

I can't wait til summer!!! Ken and I are going to do some crazy fun stuff!

Our summer is being kicked off on 5/22 with a cookout, then the next day we're going to Deep River Waterpark.

Basically, we're just going to go to Chicago and see a bunch of movies.

Yeah, I'm excited.

Happy Mother's Day!
I love you, Mommy!

Mother's Day

Once again, Mother's Day is upon us. Unfortunately, it is the one day a year that many of us choose to "appreciate" our mother's. Father's Day and Mother's Day have become for parental relationships what Valentine's Day is for romantic relationships.

This year I decided to do something really special for my mom. I wanted to get her something she would really like. So, Dad and I got her these pretty geraniums, and the really unique ones on the bottom. We thought they were just as unique as she is! :-]

I also got her a gift basket that I put together myself
filled with snacks, a movie, sudoko, lotion, body spray,
and nail polish. I wanted her to have a "relax basket."

We should do things like this all the time. Moms
deserve it. They gave us life. They put up with our
shenanigans. In my mother's case, she was in labor
with me for 30 hours before having a C-section.

I love you, Mom. Every day of the year.

Sick.

I feel awful. Nose congested. Head achy. Throat sore. Tired. But I need to get better.

I want to crawl into a hole and die, but as of 5:00 I will officially be better. I need to be. I have plans.

I'm going to relax all day to make sure I am. Ken and I are going to the movies.

I need to get better.

Oh happy day!

I organized my desk at work today. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I seriously love to organize. It is one of the only things in the world that gives me a sense of control and calm that I struggle for sometimes.

Just seeing all the free space I have on my desk now makes me feel exhilarated. Every time I sweep my hand across the smooth surface, I am reminded of the infinite possibilities that await it.

I could set anything there. A beverage. A snack. My phone. A book. A notebook. All of the above. I could put anything there, and that freedom put a smile on my face.

In a job where you sometimes feel stresses and hopeless sometimes you need to take happiness where you can.

No blog today.

Today I don't really have anything to say.

I'm sitting in my living room relaxing, soaking in the cool breeze from the open balcony door, exhausted from a long day.

Work is so tiring sometimes I come home devoid of thought. I just want to sit and stare into space.

Not that I don't love my job. I do. But it takes a lot out of me most days.

I try to help kids want to learn, but they are either incapable or unwilling.

Sometimes I don't know why I try.

I guess I did have something to say.

Forgot.

I need to do better to remember to take my anti-anxiety meds before work. My whole day sucked because of it. My dad brought me one at 11:30, but it didn't kick in soon enough for the day to even be remotely pleasant.

I hate anxiety disorders. I was diagnosed with that and depression, but this is how I diagnose myself: Anxiety stemming from untreated OCD (emphasize on the O) and control/anger issues.

No doctor has ever told me that, but who knows me better than me? I hate being such a freaking basketcase.

My bucket list.

I thought I'd post my bucket list on here. Things I want to do before I die. Hope this stirs your creativity and makes you think of something that your life wouldn't be complete without!

-Make a professional looking scrapbook of memories of Ken and I after our wedding.
-Pay off student loans by the end of 2010!
-Be able to run 5 miles without stopping.
-Make it through all of the LOTR extended versions (staying awake!).
-Have two paying web design clients.
-Learn how to swim.
-Have a garden.
-Collaborate with Ken on a professional project.
-Be a godmother.
-Be pregnant at the same time as my sister.
-Make $15/hr before I quit to have kids.
-Have $30,000 in my savings account.
-Move to another country for a year.
-Find a literary agent and publisher.
-Have a book on more than one simultaneous best-seller lists.
-Have 3 happy children.
-Get back to my pre-baby shape.
-Go to all of the continents once, except Antarctica.
-Own a first edition copy of all my favorite books.
-Become completely fluent in Spanish and at least one other language.
-Adopt a child.
-Be a maid/matron of honor at least once.
-Make a scrapbook for each of my children as they grow up
-Make a difference in some way.
-Have a home that's as green as possible.
-See a Broadway play with Ken in NYC.
-Be a contestant on "Wheel of Fortune."
-Jump out of an airplane.
-Get fan mail.
-Inspire someone.
-Publish 15 novels.
-Be "the cool aunt."
-Have at least 4 grandchildren that I am close to.

It's a sunny day, and I thank God for the weather.

*It is a spectacular day outside. Normally Chicago is filled with extremes. It's usually either so cold you need a jacket and gloves or so hot that you have to peel off your clothes at the end of the day because they have adhered to you with sweat.
*Today is a lovely middle ground. It was warm enough to lie out on the driveway on a fluffy blanket in my bikini, but not so warm that I broke a sweat.
*The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. Kids are playing outside. Wealthier people are undoubtedly thinking about cleaning out their pools to inaugurate the summer season. If I listen closely enough I can hear the faint sound of "Pop Goes the Weasel" as the ice cream man patrols the street looking for kids and adults alike who'd like to cool off with a fruit-flavored popsicle or two.
*If you get the chance go outside. Sit in the sun. Read a book and let the pages gently rustle in the pre-summer breeze. Playfully slap a bug or two off of you as they cling towards the sweetness of your skin. But most of all, thank the being who created it and don't pretend that this day has anything to do with you.

He bought me pants.

My fiance bought me pants. Not exactly my idea of a romantic present, but for anyone who knows him, it is the best present ever.

They're black and stretchy, the kind that are perfect for exercising and relaxing--- two of my favorite pastimes. They look really good on me too!

He knows I'm been getting into working out lately, and he knows I need a confidence booster sometimes. These pants definitely fit the bill.

He is amazing. He makes even the littlest gesture seem like a marriage proposal. And his marriage proposal was like something out of a romance novel.

Every time I wear these pants, I'm going to think about how much I love the person who gave them to me.

Why People Should Take Naps More Often

Clarity of the mind. Anytime I'm feeling confused, a nap makes it better.

Renewal of sanity. No matter how bad my week has been, a nap makes it better.

Relieves physical exhaustion. Getting up early for work everyday is not fun.

I am a 23-yr-old that highly approves of adults taking naps. If I never did, I would probably have gone off the deep end by now. Granted, it's not healthy to take one everyday. But there's nothing wrong with just a couple hours extra sleep every week! :-)