Pretty Pretty Princess

I feel like planning a wedding is a dream. When I meet with people or talk about it, it feels as though I'm floating on some kind of transitory cumulus cloud that can break at any moment. I'm treading carefully through the thick atmosphere, trying not to stumble on anything. I'm afraid that if I do stumble, I'll wake up and it will all be over.
One thing you need to know about me is that I have had many dreams over the course of my 23 short years. I have, in relative chronological order wanted to be MacGyver's wife, a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, a writer, a stay-at-home mom, a medical examiner, a bounty hunter, a CSI investigator, etc. The list goes on and on in varying levels of realism. As fickle as my mind has seemed, and still seems at times, only two dreams have had any sort of endurance: my dream of being a professional writer and my dream of getting married.
I've known I wanted to be a writer for almost 15 years. Honestly, it's hard to pinpoint the exact moment I knew I wanted to get married. It's one thing when you're growing up to want to be a bride. It's like the adult version of "Pretty Pretty Princess." But the moment when I realized I wanted to get married? I think I know. I think I know when it was. Not even my fiance knows this about me. I hope he reads this. I think the first time I realized I wanted to get married was the first time we ever spent time together, even before we were dating. It was the first time I'd ever felt completed by a man. The first time I'd ever felt understood by anyone of any gender. I just knew. I don't think I loved him yet. I don't believe in love at first sight, but in some crazy way, I knew that if I married him, my life would surpass any crazy career goal I could have ever had for myself. And it has.