Life Update

Ken and I have a lot to update you on! :-)

First of all, he's leaving his full-time job in exchange for a part-time job and fuller course load. This works out great for two reasons: One, he can leave the job that makes him so cranky, and two, he can finish school a semester early! :-)

Second, in a couple months, we're going to starting renovating the entire upstairs of his parents house so that in mid-October I can move into it. We're so excited to decorate our "apartment." :-)

Life is so good right now!

Apartments, rent, utilities... OH MY!

So, Ken and I are getting an apartment in a few months. Probably around the end of the year. We are definitely excited, but also sort of nervous for this step in our lives.

Neither of us have ever paid rent or utilities or anything like that. We've always just lived off the fat of the land. Or rather, off the fat of our parents' wallets. Now, we'll be responsible for everything and that is slightly terrifying. Despite that, there's no one else I'd rather take this journey with than Ken!

He always cheers me up when I'm sad, and always believes in me no matter what. I love you, Ken!

Plans.

Young people should just enjoy being young. That's the conclusion I've come to. Now that I'm the age where I'm getting married in a matter of months, and thinking about buying a house in the next couple years, I'm left with only one thought: Youth seems so long ago.

I don't mean I'm old. I'm only 23, and in the physical prime of my life. I've never looked or felt better. Still, I feel youth slipping from my fingers as I worry about rent, down payments, loan repayments, and savings accounts. Ten-year-olds don't have to worry about those things. I envy all ten-year-olds.

Don't get me wrong, I love being on the verge of independence and having responsibilities. It's just not as exciting as I thought it would be. The only exciting thing is the whole having a sexy husband thing. :-]

I want to live in Stars Hollow

I love the show "Gilmore Girls." It's my favorite show. I want nothing more than to live in the small town inhabited by Lorelai, Rory, Luke, Sookie, Kirk, Taylor, and Miss Patty.

I love the streets with the cutesy names. I'd love to live on Peach Street next door to Dean.

I love the small town heros that make it a worthwhile place to live. I want to get breakfast at Luke's Diner, and shop at Andrew's bookstore, and take dance lessons at Miss Patty's.

I'm jealous of the people who created this town.

Series review.

This is first of many future book reviews. I love to read, and I love recommending books to people, so what better place than here? :-)

Title: Series--- Stephanie Plum novels

Author: Janet Evanovich

*I've read:

• One For the Money
• Two For the Dough
• Three to Get Deadly
• Four to Score
• High Five
• Hot Six
• Seven Up
• Hard Eight
• To the Nines
• Ten Big Ones
• Eleven on Top
• Plum Lovin'
• Twelve Sharp
• Lean Mean Thirteen (currently)

I've never before read a series that had it all. This one truly does. With a ballsy female protagonist, this series crackles with wit, charm, romance, and action. Stephanie Plum is a woman that all women can look up to. She's the perfect combination of femininity and masculinity: beauty meets beast. She's been absolutely thrilling to read about for fourteen novels. Not only does the reader want to emulate her by the end of each novel, but the reader wants to know the most intimate details of her life. Will she end up with Ranger or Morelli? Will she catch her latest crook? Evanovich leaves the reader gasping for more with every turn of the page.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Check this out!

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New job.

I really need a new job. I love the hours of my job. I love the weekends and holidays off. I love the benefits. It's just the pay sucks so much. I need to be making more than $1000 a month. It's awful.

Trying to get married on only that much is pretty much impossible. So, today I begin my great quest. A quest for new employment. $25,000 a year, here I come!

The Devil Wears Tactlessness

There are many people that annoy me in this world. A certain coworker. A certain family member. The Jonas Brothers. Robert Pattinson. Subsequently, Twilight freaks. Ann Coulter.

The last one holds a very special place in my heart. I'm not blasting her for being conservative. Heck, I'm socially conservative as well. Maybe not to the extreme level that she is, but I'm sure we share a few fundamental beliefs. The reason she irritates me is that she can never keep her mouth shut.

It's one thing to be honest. It's one thing to be open about one's views. It's a completely different thing to not know when your comments are insensitive and hurtful. In regard to the murder of famed abortionist George Tiller, she said:

"I don't really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester."

Okay, so when did abortion become something funny? Something we can just joke about so cavalierly? I'm not going to go off on a diatribe about my moral views on the subject. Whether you think it's murder, or an acceptable form of population control, one thing can be agreed upon: It is a serious thing. Whether or not you think it's killing a life, it affects everyone it involves. It affects the doctors, the women who undergo it, the baby, and their family and friends. It's not something to joke about.

What really bothers me, is the following quote from regarding the previous quote:

"I am personally opposed to shooting abortionists, but I don't want to impose my moral values on others."

Shut up, Ann Coulter. So, you don't want to impose your beliefs on others, but you publish books with titles such as "If Democrats Had Any Brains They'd Be Republicans" and "How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter." I have 2 problems with this.

1. First of all, regarding the latter title, I love that she's so wise and all-knowing that she can claim that last part of her title. The World According to Ann Coulter. How scary.

2. If she doesn't like to impose her moral values on others, why does she constantly publish work in which she's shoving her political ideology down people's throats? So she's not only an insensitive bitch, but she's an arrogant liar.

I despise Ann Coulter and hope she gets a revelation. I hope she finds Jesus. I hope she finds something that helps her realize the error of her ways.

Wedding jitters.

255 days away. I want it to be today. I have absolutely no nervousness or anxiety or jitters about the planning or big day. I don't enjoy the planning, don't get me wrong. Much of it is tedious and pointless. But it's all a part of the day itself. Everything I'm doing now is contributing to the beauty of the ceremony and reception, so in the end, it's important. It's going to be the most magical day of my life, so I'm putting up with the little stupid aspects of planning now.

Today

was awful. I had to go to court. I can't go into details, but it was terrible. I'm not going to be melodramatic and say it was the worst experience of my life, because surely the deaths of loved ones supersede it. But I hated it. Luckily, I only have to go back tomorrow from 8:45 until roughly 12 and not all day, as I did today.

I decided I hate the legal system. The fact that the woman suing me can get as far as she has gotten is preposterous. Again, I can't go into details, but no sane judicial system should allowed her to have taken me to court today. Boo.

259 long days.

Having attended a wedding today, my impatience for my own wedding is growing by the day. I know it will come soon enough--- in 259 days to be exact. But I am so looking forward to it that it consumes my thoughts.

I'm looking forward to getting dolled up and having Ken see me in my dress. I'm looking forward to the presents and the cake. But most importantly, I'm looking forward to starting a life with Ken.

Because it's not about the big day. At least, it's not if you have the right mindset. Ken and I are so looking forward not just to the big day and the honeymoon, but to a life together. All the hardships and joys of married life, we are ready to take on as a team. If anything, we're looking more forward to the married life and getting our house together than to the big day.

Advice to the engaged: Don't put all your stock in the big day. It's over before you know it. If you're one of those brides that's so preoccupied with the details and terrorizes those around her during the planning process, you're with the wrong guy, period. If you were with the right guy, it wouldn't matter if a bunch of little things go wrong. :-]

I am a strong ass powerful woman.

I am a yellow belt in taekwondo. Fear me.

I may not be a brown belt or black belt, but the confidence I've gotten from passing my yellow belt test is unsurpassable. Fear me.

I broke a board on my first try. Ken couldn't do it on his first try. Fear me.

I love myself. Fear me.

I love life. Fear me.

Dreams

My fiance and I are planning a trip to Europe for possibly the summer of 2012. I really hope it happens! We'll have to spend a few thousand bucks, but it will be so worth it! :-]


This is the potential itinerary:
3 days in London
2 days in Spain
3 days in Rome
3 days in Prague

Say some prayers to God and the money fairy that this can happen! :-]

Bored out of my skull.

I hate rainy days. I'm so sick of this weather. I want summer! A genuine summer climate. Not constant rain and clouds. I want 80 degrees and sunny every day. I want blue skies. I want sweat bees buzzing around glasses of lemonade. I want sunbathing on porches and laying out by the pool with a good book. I want to have to shoo away mosquitos. Summer won't feel like it's started until I get all those things.

CRANKY

I feel so cranky. Just get me out of here.

I have a period that won't go away.

I want to move out.

I want a million dollars.

I want to not ever have a period ever again.

I want to not be babied anymore.

I just want to be out on my own.

Miscellaneous musings.

I've been working on my fiance's website a lot. I'm trying to make it as jazzy as possible. Check it out and make suggestion! I'd really appreciate it! www.kenmade.com

Watching a show on MTV called "16 and Pregnant." Not only does it reaffirm my belief in birth control, but it very much reaffirms my belief that teenagers have no business having sex. This show is so depressing.

I am so glad to be on summer break! The first year at work was so hard, that I feel as if I've earned a vacation. :-]

Yeah.

Summer break!

I am finally on summer break from work! I'm so excited to not have to think about anything work-related for 2 1/2 months. I kind of hate the job, but I'm thankful to work in a school when the summer comes around!

I'm going downtown next Friday to some museums with my fiance. So excited!

Yeah, I don't really have too much to say today. I had a really fun time with my fiance last night. We made some cocktails and relaxed to celebrate my first night of summer break. I played a little computer Wheel of Fortune. I won. I rock. :-]

Enjoy your summer, readers!

4 years later

I am still so in love with Ken. I don't even know how it's possible. No matter how many stupid tiny arguments we have, he's the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of when I go to sleep. He's the first person I call when I have good news and the first person I call when I'm pissed off about something or need to cry. He may not be a Christian, but I feel like God has blessed me with a person like him, because he has helped me to be happier and more confident. I am so thankful.

Happy 9 month weddingversary Ken!!!

Plane crash.

I read the saddest story on AOL this morning. It was about a couple--- the woman Brazilian and the man German--- who met at the law school they both attended in Germany. They fell madly in love and got engaged.

Recently, they wanted to share the news with their families. First, they went to Brazil to tell the bride-to-be's parents. Later, they boarded a flight to Germany to tell the parents of the groom-to-be. Unfortunately the plane never made it there.

My heart goes out to their families. What an unimaginable tragedy. To be cut down in the prime of one's life, especially as such a special and happy turning point. I can't imagine that. It just made me sad.

Real adult life...

Adult life is scary. Ken and I are making a budget for when we live together and there are so many little things we keep thinking of that we need to add.

Therefore, I have a message for any younger readers I might have that have yet to enter the real world: Stay out of it as long as possible. Yes, it's exciting and thrilling and lovely, but at the same time it's scary and daunting. Cherish the youth that you have before you have the responsibilities of student loans, and mortgages, and groceries, and gas bills. Hold it close to your heart like a precious stone, because it will slip away before you know it.

Taekwondo

Today is my first day of taekwondo lessons with my fiance. I'm really excited, but kind of nervous. He's taught me a few moves so that I feel more confident, but I'm still nervous. I'm nervous because I don't know what the flow of the class will be like.

I hope I do well. I always want to do well at everything. I'm a perfectionist, so starting new things is really nerve-wrecking. I'm sure I'll end up having fun, but I have butterflies in my stomach.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Watching "Hotel Rwanda"

What a depressing movie. I can't believe that things like this actually happen in the world. Watching it makes me feel helpless and powerless. I wish I had a billion dollars and endless amounts of influence so that I could do something to change things for the people of Darfur in the Sudan.

But what can we really do? We can send over money and food and missionaries, but what does that really accomplish? Does that change the cycles of violence and the political ideologies that lead to the genocide? What can a normal person actually do to help? Praying feels meaningless. Caring feels pointless. The situation feels hopeless.

Cinnamon rolls hold the key to happiness

I try not to be a glutton, but I can't help it. A wise man once said, "All things in moderation." People have believed that for thousands of years. I believe, however, that there once existed some wise Czech that said, "Moderation is for pussies."
When I know cinnamon rolls await me in the morning, I wake up earlier than I need to. It's sad when pre-heating an oven is a high point of my day. As they cook, the smell of cinnamon calls out to me like a harbinger of the delicious taste to come. Frosting them produces anxiety, because I want to eat them as soon as possible, but know I need to frost them first.
As soon as I take a bite of one, the world stops turning. It's as if I'm the only person existing in that moment, just a lone person eating the most delicious thing ever created.
Happiness is not a warm blanket, but a warm cinnamon roll.

Current annoyances

*The fact that I still have 8 more work days until summer break.
*My uber-burn, which was becoming a tan, and is now peeling. I look like a snake shedding its skin.
*That Oreos don't have 0 calories.
*My headache.
*That I still live at home.
*That HE (person unnamed) just won't go away.
*That SHE (person unnamed) never seems to change.
*That my stomach hurts.
*That I know it's the Oreos fault.

Nap time.

Why stop now?

Is it possible to have a friend that you just stop liking? I have a few best friends (my fiance, my sister, and a few other girls) but I have a couple "side" friends that I am starting to just want to break ties with. Is that mean? Maybe we're just growing apart.

You know you're not meant to be friends when:
-Hearing their name annoys you.
-Hearing a particular word that they say a lot annoys you.
-Thinking about socializing with them gives you a mini panic attack.

I want to hear your thoughts. How do I get rid of said friend(s)?

Much obliged.

Haven't written one in a few days.

So, I had the best weekend ever pretty much. In case you're curious:

*The whole purpose of the weekend was to celebrate my 4 year anniversary with my fiance.
1. Friday Ken and I went to see Terminator Salvation. It was pretty good. The special effects were really good! :-] And Christian Bale was a delight as always.
2. Saturday Ken and I went to Deep River Water Park. I got the sunburn of a lifetime. It is seriously the most I've hurt since I broke my leg 10 years ago. I look like I was slathered in barbecue sauce. But luckily today (Tuesday) it's better appearance-wise and in how it feels.
3. Sunday Ken and I watched all of the LOTR extended versions. I was really proud of myself because I stayed awake through all of them except for like 30 minutes worth at the end of Return of the King.
4. Monday we spent time with family.

I wish the weekend wasn't over.

Please keep your complaints to a minimum

So some guy on "My Name is Earl" is complaining that the show got cancelled. First of all, heaven forbid you don't have those extra hundreds of thousands of dollars an episode to keep all your other millions warm. What a tragedy. Second, that show is mediocre at best. The premise is fairly original, but the cast and writing is mediocre. People might wonder why shows like Seinfeld and Friends and Family Guy were/are so successful. One reason: Legitimately ground-breaking comedy. The always changed things up and kept it fresh, and regularly pushed the envelope. "My Name is Earl" is a show which produces a mild smattering of chuckles whereas the aforementioned shows were/are consistently laugh-out-loud funny. Maybe I should be a television exec.

I want, I want, I want

I want to be a writer so bad.  Today, I was reading articles about writing.  Tips, hints, etc.  It seems like hard work, but I do not care in the slightest.  I want to spend my life doing that work.  I want to write stories that people love.  I want to inspire people.  I want to make people laugh.  I want to make people cry.  I want to make them angry.  I want to make them rejoice.  I want to help people out of the dark places in their lives.  I want, I want, I want.  There is nothing I want more.

I am sick of...

• Students who don't want to learn.
• Students who don't care that they're failing classes.
• People who can't take hints.
• People who are so into themselves that they would never get that someone might not like them.
• People who are so damn perky all the time.
• People who say bitchy things to people they should be polite to.
• People who are bitchy.
• People who aren't bitchy enough.
• People without the courage to change how they act towards people.

I am sick of people.

Wow.

She is hands down the rudest person ever.  I'm not going to say who I'm talking about or why, but is so f-ing rude.  

I kind of already knew that but wow.  What she said to me takes the cake.

Why can't people just be polite?  What happened to that?  Why do people think they can just say whatever the hell they want to say to people?

She needs to get her act together.

Happy Anniversary!

As of tomorrow, it has been 4 happy years with my sweetums! It's been a wonderful ride, and I love you with all my heart! Less than 10 months til we're married!!

Shut up.

Call me immature. Call me a child. Call me a more clever name. Call me anything. All I have to say is: Shut up.

You are stupid and petty. All you ever do is make fun of everything and everyone and I am tired of being around such negative people. Too bad I don't have a choice sometimes.

You have a lot of growing up to do. Before you go out on your own and get married and get a real job. You need to mature. Because life will be hard for you if all you do is coast through it bashing everything that you "don't like."

By the way, you can't tell people what they should like. Screw you.

Thanks.

Great shape.

I'm in the best shape of my life. Is it wrong to say that? I feel like a hypocrite writing this blog.

Why, you ask? Why would one feel like a hypocrite for stating their opinion about their physical appearance? Mainly, because I have silently berated a co-worker for months for doing this same thing. For some reason, though, I feel more justified.

I think I feel justified because the silently berated person just talks and talks and talks about how in shape they are and their workout and how fascinating they are and blah blah frickin blah. I'm just sharing it with you, the select few blog subscribers who voluntarily read my thoughts. I'm not shoving it down anyone's throat.

That being said, I look pretty good. Not to be cliche, but I'm thankful that God has given me the motivation to take the healthy step of working out more. Thanks, Big Guy!

I am so frustrated.

How hard is it to pick up on a generally accepted and recognized social cue? Let me put it to you this way...

If a door is closed at your place of employment, and it is usually open, would you not deduce that the person inside has it closed for a reason?

Secondly, if you are brazen enough to open it, and the person inside is reading, would you not further deduce that you have been rebuffed a second time and should immediately turn around and leave?

A normal person might...

Fun summer!

I can't wait til summer!!! Ken and I are going to do some crazy fun stuff!

Our summer is being kicked off on 5/22 with a cookout, then the next day we're going to Deep River Waterpark.

Basically, we're just going to go to Chicago and see a bunch of movies.

Yeah, I'm excited.

Happy Mother's Day!
I love you, Mommy!

Mother's Day

Once again, Mother's Day is upon us. Unfortunately, it is the one day a year that many of us choose to "appreciate" our mother's. Father's Day and Mother's Day have become for parental relationships what Valentine's Day is for romantic relationships.

This year I decided to do something really special for my mom. I wanted to get her something she would really like. So, Dad and I got her these pretty geraniums, and the really unique ones on the bottom. We thought they were just as unique as she is! :-]

I also got her a gift basket that I put together myself
filled with snacks, a movie, sudoko, lotion, body spray,
and nail polish. I wanted her to have a "relax basket."

We should do things like this all the time. Moms
deserve it. They gave us life. They put up with our
shenanigans. In my mother's case, she was in labor
with me for 30 hours before having a C-section.

I love you, Mom. Every day of the year.

Sick.

I feel awful. Nose congested. Head achy. Throat sore. Tired. But I need to get better.

I want to crawl into a hole and die, but as of 5:00 I will officially be better. I need to be. I have plans.

I'm going to relax all day to make sure I am. Ken and I are going to the movies.

I need to get better.

Oh happy day!

I organized my desk at work today. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I seriously love to organize. It is one of the only things in the world that gives me a sense of control and calm that I struggle for sometimes.

Just seeing all the free space I have on my desk now makes me feel exhilarated. Every time I sweep my hand across the smooth surface, I am reminded of the infinite possibilities that await it.

I could set anything there. A beverage. A snack. My phone. A book. A notebook. All of the above. I could put anything there, and that freedom put a smile on my face.

In a job where you sometimes feel stresses and hopeless sometimes you need to take happiness where you can.

No blog today.

Today I don't really have anything to say.

I'm sitting in my living room relaxing, soaking in the cool breeze from the open balcony door, exhausted from a long day.

Work is so tiring sometimes I come home devoid of thought. I just want to sit and stare into space.

Not that I don't love my job. I do. But it takes a lot out of me most days.

I try to help kids want to learn, but they are either incapable or unwilling.

Sometimes I don't know why I try.

I guess I did have something to say.

Forgot.

I need to do better to remember to take my anti-anxiety meds before work. My whole day sucked because of it. My dad brought me one at 11:30, but it didn't kick in soon enough for the day to even be remotely pleasant.

I hate anxiety disorders. I was diagnosed with that and depression, but this is how I diagnose myself: Anxiety stemming from untreated OCD (emphasize on the O) and control/anger issues.

No doctor has ever told me that, but who knows me better than me? I hate being such a freaking basketcase.

My bucket list.

I thought I'd post my bucket list on here. Things I want to do before I die. Hope this stirs your creativity and makes you think of something that your life wouldn't be complete without!

-Make a professional looking scrapbook of memories of Ken and I after our wedding.
-Pay off student loans by the end of 2010!
-Be able to run 5 miles without stopping.
-Make it through all of the LOTR extended versions (staying awake!).
-Have two paying web design clients.
-Learn how to swim.
-Have a garden.
-Collaborate with Ken on a professional project.
-Be a godmother.
-Be pregnant at the same time as my sister.
-Make $15/hr before I quit to have kids.
-Have $30,000 in my savings account.
-Move to another country for a year.
-Find a literary agent and publisher.
-Have a book on more than one simultaneous best-seller lists.
-Have 3 happy children.
-Get back to my pre-baby shape.
-Go to all of the continents once, except Antarctica.
-Own a first edition copy of all my favorite books.
-Become completely fluent in Spanish and at least one other language.
-Adopt a child.
-Be a maid/matron of honor at least once.
-Make a scrapbook for each of my children as they grow up
-Make a difference in some way.
-Have a home that's as green as possible.
-See a Broadway play with Ken in NYC.
-Be a contestant on "Wheel of Fortune."
-Jump out of an airplane.
-Get fan mail.
-Inspire someone.
-Publish 15 novels.
-Be "the cool aunt."
-Have at least 4 grandchildren that I am close to.

It's a sunny day, and I thank God for the weather.

*It is a spectacular day outside. Normally Chicago is filled with extremes. It's usually either so cold you need a jacket and gloves or so hot that you have to peel off your clothes at the end of the day because they have adhered to you with sweat.
*Today is a lovely middle ground. It was warm enough to lie out on the driveway on a fluffy blanket in my bikini, but not so warm that I broke a sweat.
*The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. Kids are playing outside. Wealthier people are undoubtedly thinking about cleaning out their pools to inaugurate the summer season. If I listen closely enough I can hear the faint sound of "Pop Goes the Weasel" as the ice cream man patrols the street looking for kids and adults alike who'd like to cool off with a fruit-flavored popsicle or two.
*If you get the chance go outside. Sit in the sun. Read a book and let the pages gently rustle in the pre-summer breeze. Playfully slap a bug or two off of you as they cling towards the sweetness of your skin. But most of all, thank the being who created it and don't pretend that this day has anything to do with you.

He bought me pants.

My fiance bought me pants. Not exactly my idea of a romantic present, but for anyone who knows him, it is the best present ever.

They're black and stretchy, the kind that are perfect for exercising and relaxing--- two of my favorite pastimes. They look really good on me too!

He knows I'm been getting into working out lately, and he knows I need a confidence booster sometimes. These pants definitely fit the bill.

He is amazing. He makes even the littlest gesture seem like a marriage proposal. And his marriage proposal was like something out of a romance novel.

Every time I wear these pants, I'm going to think about how much I love the person who gave them to me.

Why People Should Take Naps More Often

Clarity of the mind. Anytime I'm feeling confused, a nap makes it better.

Renewal of sanity. No matter how bad my week has been, a nap makes it better.

Relieves physical exhaustion. Getting up early for work everyday is not fun.

I am a 23-yr-old that highly approves of adults taking naps. If I never did, I would probably have gone off the deep end by now. Granted, it's not healthy to take one everyday. But there's nothing wrong with just a couple hours extra sleep every week! :-)

So. Dang. Frustrated.

This is a segment of an actual e-mail I sent to my dad today with information taken out that could make the specific situation identifiable:

"I am having a big personal problem. I've always thought of myself as a nice person, but lately it's been hard to be nice. SO AND SO is driving me crazy. Everything HE/SHE says I literally want to punch HIM/HER in the face. Everything ends up being about SUCH AND SUCH A THING. I'm at the point where when I hear the word ????? come out of anyone's mouth, I get angry. For some reason, everything that comes out of HIS/HER mouth makes me want to choke a kitten."

Question: Does this make me a mean person? Any thoughts are welcome.

Invasion of Privacy

I hate seeing students outside of school. It's happened twice this week! Although it's the price I pay for living in the same town I work in, I still feel some divine right to recount the incidents here with a small amount of annoyance.

Incident #1: (Monday) I was wandering through Kohl's, minding my own business. I was doing a little summer clothes shopping with the usual items under my arm: short cloth shorts, a jean skirt, tank tops, etc. I've been working out, so I felt I deserved it. I was clearly on a shopper's high. Proudly, I walked to the register when out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar face: John*, a student at the school I work. I don't directly work with him, but I'd recognize his short, thin frame and his scruffy head of hair anywhere. I quickly tried to hide the push-up bra that was on top as I waved, since he recognized me.

Incident #2: (Wednesday) I've been slightly lazy with working out the past few days. So all day today I psyched myself up for a good post-work run. I put one of my favorite t-shirts and a pair of recently purchased short cloth shorts. I started to run and I was really feeling good, the cool breeze brushing against my face and my ponytail lightly bouncing behind me. I was running my usual route when all of a sudden I saw another familiar face. It was Andrew*. And, just my luck, walking up to his house were Sam* and Mark*. All students I recognized and would recognize me if they were paying attention. They saw me in all my short shorts jiggly thighs glory. Sweet.

*All names of students changed to spare me more humiliation.

Hush your mouth.

I am so sick of whiners. Don't get me wrong, I do my fair share of whining. I whine that I'm not making enough money and about things I'm impatient for. But I can justify that. I don't work the kind of job where I can just get a raise all the time, and I can't fast forward time to change the circumstances.
What I get tired of is people who bitch about things they can change. "Oh my God, my relationship makes me so unhappy." "Oh my God, why am I failing college when all I do is get high and drink?" First of all, if you really wanted to bring God into this, I'm sure he'd say, "HELLO! YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE!" Second of all, what happened to personal responsibility? If all you do is cry about your shitty relationship, hello, dump him. Honestly, if you stay in the relationship, you kind of deserve it. Not that people deserve to be unhappy, but if they do nothing to change it, they kind of deserve the consequences. I can't stand when they're like, "But nobody else will love me wahhhhh." Of course they won't. Not with that attitude. Men and women alike are generally attracted to people that love themselves. If all you do is sit and have a fucking pity party for yourself, of course no one else will want you. Keep your standards high, and the treatment you get will be better,
Also, the reason I got a 3.6 all the way through college was because I actually tried and didn't party every night. FYI.
Not really directed to any one in specific. Just tired of people my age in general.

Things I'm Sometimes Tempted to Maybe Consider Doing

Sometimes I want to not wake up and ditch work.
Sometimes I want to yell at people at work.
Sometimes I want to yell in general.
Sometimes I want to eat a bucket of ice cream.
Sometimes I wish I had the appetite.
Sometimes I wish I lived in another decade.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd appreciate it if I did.
Sometimes I wish I could make all of Ken's dreams come true.
Sometimes I wish I even knew how to make mine happen.
Sometimes I wish I made more money.
Sometimes I wish I'd majored in something else.
Sometimes I want to choke the lawyers on the Binder&Binder commercial.
Sometimes I want to toss the television out of the window.
Sometimes I wonder when I'll end up doing one of these things.

Say Goodbye to Personal Responsibility

The government decided to let 17-year-old girls get the morning after pill. That makes me sick. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against contraceptive methods. People need ways to control the population. It is reckless to have more kids than one can take care of. But to give teenaged girls a tool to end any possible pregnancy that might have occurred? How about we just throw personal responsibility out of the window?
Let's face it. Kids have sex. Whether you're a liberal or a conservative, a Christian, a Buddhist, or an atheist, that fact cannot be denied. Kids have sex before they're ready and put themselves in situations that are less than favorable. But giving them this option is like saying they don't have to be responsible for themselves. It tells them that they can just coast through life, making whatever kind of mistakes they want and not suffer the consequences for their actions. I think if a kid wants to have sex and they get pregnant, they have to deal with it. Don't have sex if you don't want to possibly have a kid. Condoms are one thing. They prevent a pregnancy from ever happening. The morning after pill is ended a pregnancy that's already taken place.
It makes me sick to think of the kind of power they are putting in the hands of young people who have no concept of what's best for them.

Pretty Pretty Princess

I feel like planning a wedding is a dream. When I meet with people or talk about it, it feels as though I'm floating on some kind of transitory cumulus cloud that can break at any moment. I'm treading carefully through the thick atmosphere, trying not to stumble on anything. I'm afraid that if I do stumble, I'll wake up and it will all be over.
One thing you need to know about me is that I have had many dreams over the course of my 23 short years. I have, in relative chronological order wanted to be MacGyver's wife, a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, a writer, a stay-at-home mom, a medical examiner, a bounty hunter, a CSI investigator, etc. The list goes on and on in varying levels of realism. As fickle as my mind has seemed, and still seems at times, only two dreams have had any sort of endurance: my dream of being a professional writer and my dream of getting married.
I've known I wanted to be a writer for almost 15 years. Honestly, it's hard to pinpoint the exact moment I knew I wanted to get married. It's one thing when you're growing up to want to be a bride. It's like the adult version of "Pretty Pretty Princess." But the moment when I realized I wanted to get married? I think I know. I think I know when it was. Not even my fiance knows this about me. I hope he reads this. I think the first time I realized I wanted to get married was the first time we ever spent time together, even before we were dating. It was the first time I'd ever felt completed by a man. The first time I'd ever felt understood by anyone of any gender. I just knew. I don't think I loved him yet. I don't believe in love at first sight, but in some crazy way, I knew that if I married him, my life would surpass any crazy career goal I could have ever had for myself. And it has.